It’s difficult to believe that we have been back in the UK for two and a half years. The irony is that time moves faster when you are not moving. When we are travelling, time slows beautifully.

Why did we stop?
We simply ran out of adventure funds.

When did we decide that we wanted to get back on the road?
The exact same day we left it. 

The bonuses of blighty (that's England for our international followers)

Family. A new baby niece has been one of the highlights of our rooted respite, sharing in parenting has been overwhelmingly cherished and an exciting, precious new experience for us both. Spending time with our close family including our 4 nieces has been wonderful.

Friends. Catching up with mates has been brilliant; birthdays, holidays, festivals, parties. We met some pretty special new friends too who have kept us sane in working towards our adventure goals.

Familiarity. After so much uncertainty and unpredictability on the road it was a relief and comfort to be in a country where we were accustomed to the people, food, language, culture and environment. Life in the UK where everything is recognisable and relatively straightforward is a welcome respite from the instability and irregularity of overlanding and gave us both chance to ‘re-charge’ our adventure batteries (and funds!).

Focus. Time ‘off the road’ instead of ‘off-road’ has allowed us to reflect on our travels and given us the opportunity to share our stories through presentations and talks. We have been privileged to impart our knowledge and travel tales to photography clubs, women’s groups, hiking clubs and at overland shows. Andy established ‘The Overlanding Podcast’, the first audio programme of its kind, as well as developing our website as both a documentation of our trip but also a resource for other adventurers. We have been able to spend time sorting our photographs and film footage ready for editing. Bee-bee has been well rested but we have a relaxed timeframe in which to get her adventure-ready. We have had the luxury of time to research our next route and plan without pressure.

The most difficult adjustments we had to make to a stationary existence?

Initial dependence. We journeyed until our last Malaysian Ringgit coin so gratefully and fortunately relied on my parents to house us while we initially got back on our feet, starting again from nothing; selling, working, earning and saving.
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Employment. Working outside of our chosen careers and being confined within archaic structures of organisational incompetence was testing. Why are so many people in positions of authority such dicks? We are both far too free and feral after years on the road to integrate fully back into ‘jobsworth’ society. Fortunately we worked day to day with some incredible clients who gave us a whole new inspiring insight into life. Retiring again after 2 years of working for the ‘man’ has been euphoric.

Urban dwelling. The concrete, the grey, the lack of wildlife, the same kitchen sink window view. We both developed an extreme obsession with houseplants to the point our flat resembled a jungle obscuring most windows. Andy built a 2m high bed so we still had to comfortingly climb up into our ‘roof bed’ at night. New friends and wildlife volunteering gave me purpose and strength to keep a balance between a dishearteningly destructive world and my environmental values.

Depression. The demons returned armed with weapons of environmental anxiety, lost control, financial stress, and dark winter melancholy. Many people think we are crazy for what we do when we overland but static existence creates its own personal insanity for us.

What have we learnt from our time ‘home’?

Time with loved ones is precious, don’t take it for granted and make an effort to spend quality time with the people you love. The old cliché “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is not only true of people; we miss our homes and families when we’re away exploring but we also miss our wandering lifestyle when we stop. Time spent doing both allows you to fully appreciate what you have and not take anything for granted.

So a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has housed, fed, ‘watered’, encouraged, supported and helped us during both our travels and the interim period’s in-between. You are the people who truly keep our world turning.

We will be keeping our travel name ‘Around the World in 800 Days’, less so for camp-counting and more to emphasis our unhurried expedition style. The adventure continues.

Normal? No. Nomadic? Yes.

Our eyes are now fixed on the horizon in a westerly direction and we’re counting down the days…

It’s difficult to believe that we have been back in the UK for two and a half years. The irony is that time moves faster when you are not moving.
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After selling, working, earning and saving we've decided to turn our world upside down again. We have resigned from our jobs, packed up our flat into a storage unit and made that liberating switch from ‘normal’ to ‘nomadic’.

​As I write this Bee-bee is in the trusted hands of our good mechanic friends with a list of jobs as long (but hopefully not as challenging) as the Trans-Siberian highway. Andy will do the rest of the tweaks, repairs and modifications later in the summer.

We have based ourselves in Cyprus for a short time to focus on planning the next phase of our adventures which will see us head West to The Americas. The plan is very loose at the moment; ship to South America, then to Central America and the US, north into Canada and Alaska.

Andy is industriously dusting off all our un-viewed film footage from the latter part of our trip and will be editing, podcasting and familiarising himself with recent technologies, trips and car stuff. I have a lot to read and learn… and I can’t wait to release my inner map-geek which has been stifled for the last couple of years.
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We will enjoy the summer in the UK with friends, family and festivals with a view to departing towards the end of the year. We are updating the website and firing up the blogging machine from now on to document all our preparations and plans. We’re looking forward to linking up with new adventurers on the road, visiting overland friends and allowing static adventurer-followers to join us on the next stage of our journey.

When we originally left the UK in 2012 we had an old Nokia phone; absolutely nothing ‘smart’ about it… Unless you consider the fact we could use it to open beer bottles! To navigate we used a combination of paper maps and an old handheld Garmin 60cs. 
 
In 2013 we inherited an old iPhone and delved head first into the world of apps! Since then we’ve also purchased a really basic Samsung smart phone. As a result our whole overlanding experience has improved greatly. Here are a few of the apps we use on a daily basis.

Galileo
 
Galileo is a map resource (similar to Google maps), the beauty of it is that it works off-line using pre-downloaded vector based maps. With one click you can download an entire country, using the language you want. Because the maps are vector based they are generally small in size which means they are fast and responsive. You can record your trips and monitor your real-time speed, distance and time travelled, as well as altitude. Like most map apps you can track your trips, share your tracks with friends via Mail, Facebook and Twitter or export them in the most common formats: KML & GPX. Galileo has essentially taken over the role of our old Garmin hand-held GPS, which is good as it was stolen in Iran. Galileo is now also available for Android as well as iOS.
 
https://galileo-app.com/


Maps.Me
 
Maps.Me or Maps With Me, as it is official known is essentially the same deal as Galileo. There was a time when Galileo was only available for iPhone users and Maps.Me was only available for Android users. Now both are available for all platforms so take your pick. We prefer the Galileo interface and how it operates, but Maps.Me is pretty much the same deal. We use both as Emma has Galileo on her old iPhone and I use Maps.Me on our Samsung phone. Both have great search facilities if you are looking for garages, banks or restaurants.
 
http://maps.me/en/home


Roadtrip
 
There are stacks of MPG apps available, we’ve been using the same one since we got our first ‘Smart Phone’ and are more than happy with it. Road Trip is the fastest and easiest way to keep track of your car’s fuel economy, maintenance schedule and expenses. At a glance, Road Trip gives you all vital statistics on a single page: Minimum, maximum, and average fuel price per gallon/litre, Minimum, maximum, and average fuel economy (MPG, L/100km, etc.), Average cost per day, Average cost per mile or kilometre, Average distance per day, Total fuel cost, Total gallons or liters of fuel and Total distance travelled. Unfortunately it is only available for iOS (iPod Touch, iPad and iPhone).
 
http://darrensoft.ca/roadtrip/


Cam Scanner
 
Cam Scanner turns your mobile phone into a scanner and is a great resource for digitising paperwork and documents whilst on the road; especially handy during the shipping process, borders and applying for visas.  Just take a photo and create PDF documents from it. Using a stack of settings you can produce multi-page documents, crop and customize. Incredibly convenient.
 
https://www.camscanner.com/


XE Currency Convertor
 
Again, there are hundreds of currency convertors available. We chose XE Currency Convertor as it had the best reviews. You can access live exchange rates, view historical charts, and calculate prices off line. It is available for all devices and with over a kabillion downloads worldwide, you know it’s going to be good. It’s also FREE.
 
http://www.xe.com/apps/


World Map
 
World Map is a simple overview map of the world. No frills. Useful for planning and explaining to new found friends where you’ve been. The paid version has political maps and time zones.
 
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/world-map-2015/id350925062?mt=8


Been
 
Been is a fun little app that keeps track of the number of countries you’ve visited. Incredibly inspiring when you’re feeling a little low and incredibly annoying to your friends when you’re feeling smug. Available for iOS and Android.
 
http://apparata.se/apps/been/


iOverlander
 
iOverlander is more than just an app, you can also access it online on your laptop or desktop. Originally a mapping project started by overlanders it has grown into a useful resource. You can find campsites, garages, restaurants, watering holes and much, much more all entered by fellow overlanders. You can also add to the many overlanders who have dedicated their time, ideas and most importantly their GPS coordinates. Log campsites and share your secrets.
 
http://ioverlander.com/
 

Commander Compass
 
Commander Compass is an extremely well thought out car and walk GPS compass app for iOS (Apple devices). Crafted to military spec, it is designed to be used where traditional GPS apps fail — off the road. It features a milspec compass, gyrocompass, maps, GPS tracker, speedometer, gyro horizon and inclinometer. Tag, share, find and track your position, multiple locations and bearings, all in real time. It has way too many features to list here, but is worth checking out.
 
http://happymagenta.com/compass/

​Most adventurous overlanders are typically drawn to the lesser-travelled, edgy countries. Travelling by 4x4 allows you to access some of the most beautiful, remote and sometimes inhospitable areas that most tourists generally don’t get to see.
 
Travelling in a self-reliant way in a 4x4 does however mean you cannot travel light; typically your vehicle is your home and this includes carrying everything from tools and laptops to the kitchen sink.
 
In most foreign countries a big muddy 4x4 with strange number plates, fully loaded with every conceivable extra is going to draw quite a bit of attention. As a result you, your vehicle and its contents can become a desirable target for criminals.
 
After we’d purchased Bee-bee in 2010, one astute bicycle traveller sensibly told me “the less you take with you the less you have to lose”.
 
These wise words are more pertinent having fallen victim to one of overlandings worst nightmares… robbery!
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​Way back in 2015, we were robbed whilst in Iran. The thieves smashed the drivers side window and indiscriminately took 6 storage boxes containing clothing, car parts, tools, medical kit, camping equipment and personal items. Sadly, this included the box that contained Emma’s travel diaries, all our used maps and books plus every sentimental little souvenir and gift we’d acquired en-route.
The financial loss was devastating but the inconvenience and time wasted was really problematic.
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​Thankfully cameras, laptops, phones, hard drives, credit cards, money and passports were all with us in the apartment where we were sleeping.
 
Both Emma and I carry a micro SD card on us at all times in a hidden pocket in our ‘Adventure belts’, this memory card contains digital copies of all our important documents including the vehicle registration, passports, carnet, visas, medical records and prescription details. We have also emailed ourselves and a reliable family member a copy of this digital folder that can then be viewed using any device connected to the internet. Had we lost the entire car we would have still had access to our vital documents, this would have certainly sped things up at the police station and embassy.

​Photos are simply irreplaceable; the basic rule to follow here is - don’t keep all your eggs in one basket. We always make sure we have multiple copies of all laptop content, including photographs of diary pages (fortunately). One copy is hidden deep inside the car and certainly isn’t locatable in a ten minute break-in. This solution is still not great if someone takes the entire vehicle. To resolve this potential problem we also back up our files and photographs frequently to the ‘Cloud’, this is painfully slow in most countries due to internet speeds and is not really appropriate for larger files like film footage. Backing up to SD or Micro SD cards and posting home is also a fairly secure alternative, if somewhat costly, the drawbacks with this are that many postal systems are fairly unreliable in other parts of the world.
 
Being married to a compulsive list maker has its benefits; Emma had made a full inventory of every item in the car and in which box it was placed, neatly organised into a deftly formatted spread-sheet stored on our micro SD cards. This simple procedure made identifying what had been taken a fairly quick process. This list was then swiftly given to the police. In hindsight it would have been beneficial to have a photograph of every item we carry as the police requested information regarding some of the more unusual or easily recognisable items that were taken.

​All the rear windows of our car are completely blacked out using thick self-adhesive black vinyl, this does two things, it keeps inquisitive eyes out and also makes the glass a little harder to smash. Most thieves are opportunistic, if items are out of sight this is a great first step to securing your vehicle.
 
All our external accessories like jerry-cans and the Hi-lift jack are all secured with heavy-duty cables and waterproof padlocks. Our vehicle is fitted with an immobiliser, I would also recommend installing another hidden battery isolator switch to completely kill all electrics to the vehicle- this would also be handy when working on the car.
 
As for personal protection, we carry very little. In the tent at night we opt for WD-40 (although it’s not mentioned as one of the 2000+ uses on it’s website), a screeching rape alarm and a fairly hefty Maglite. Being lovers not fighters, we took a few self-defence classes before we left on our trip. Some overlanders carry pepper spray, but this can be problematic crossing borders in some countries.
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​There are many things you can do to protect yourself, your possessions and your vehicle. Avoiding putting yourself in a risky situation is always the first step, followed by security should you be robbed. Having simple rules, being aware of your environment and trusting your instinct hugely reduces your chances of being targeted. Prior to Iran, sticking to our self-imposed rules, we’d travelled through 45 countries without a hitch.
 
Simply being aware of threats in your local area is often enough to keep you safe. In Russia for example we were warned by truck drivers to be aware of scam pleas for help by distressed smartly dressed men at the side of the road. Local knowledge is extremely valuable but be aware that most people will exaggerate the dangers and untrustworthiness of people in neighbouring countries! Careful selection of wild camping spots is vital; we always make sure no one sees us leave the road and try to remain out of sight from roads and habitation.
 
It is important to maintain a level of security in your vehicle that does not become a hindrance on a daily basis but is secure enough to ease your mind when the vehicle is unattended. There are times when you have no choice but to be away from the vehicle and it is during these times that your security options need to be religiously enforced.

It’s nigh on impossible to make your vehicle completely burglar-proof, ultimately if someone wants to get into your car, they will. All a thief needs is time and an opportunity, the more you can do to increase the time needed to get into the vehicle the less the opportunity exists. Your vehicle should appear to be a hard target, this will deter most criminals who will look for an easier target.
 
Most people tend to prioritise securing items that are perceived as valuable; laptops, cameras, phones, GPS, etc. The logic here being that no one is going to want to steal used maps, personal diaries and prescription glasses. The truth of the matter is, thieves are generally indiscriminate. In our case they simply took all they could in the time they had. Storage boxes are practical but they certainly made it easy for the thieves to empty our car. In this regard maybe a fixed and lockable draw system is more secure.
 
In hindsight we should have treated items like diaries and prescription glasses in the same way we dealt with other ‘valuables’. If you need glasses to drive and someone takes them you have a big problem. Thankfully I always have a pair stuck to my face and keep my prescription details on my micro SD card.

There are many smaller products on the market that are useful for overlanders including Baked Bean tin safes, these can be hidden amongst your food stash and are great for hiding smaller items. Combination key safes can be bolted or welded to the underside of your car and can hold a full set of spare keys in case you manage to lose your keys.
 
External heavy-duty commercial van door hasps are somewhat unsightly but they are also a great security addition, especially in conjunction with a draw system that can’t be accessed whilst the doors are closed. If a thief smashes a window they won’t be able to open the doors which in turn means they can’t access the draw system. This set-up should prevent the thieves from taking anything at all.
 
Most car thieves are small-time opportunistic criminals but in some extreme cases your vehicle may be targeted by a more professional outfit who actually want to take the entire vehicle. The simplest way to prevent this is not to leave your vehicle in the same place for more than one day. Think carefully about promoting your overland website and blog on your vehicle. Most overlanding websites like to feature photos of the vehicle build, storage systems and the equipment carried, this information can easily be used by would-be criminals who spot your vehicle.
 
If you can afford it, a hidden GPS tracker on your vehicle might save you one very expensive loss. We also recommend downloading one of the many remotely operated tracking and recovery apps that are available for most smart phones and laptops.
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​It is important to address security issues when prepping your vehicle; window grills, secure cages, safes and locking draw systems are easily available for vehicles like Defenders but are not commonplace in the UK for Toyotas like ours. You don’t need to spend a small fortune to be protected; simply having a few simple self-imposed rules is the greatest way of keeping you and your vehicle safe. Unfortunately we broke our rules and paid the price for doing so. Thankfully the people of Iran and our friends back home proved how amazing they are and came to our rescue helping us source and replace many of the items that were taken.
 
Fortunately the robbery didn’t dampen our adventurous spirit. It’s important to remember that most overlanders don’t ever fall victim to crime and the majority of people round the world are wonderfully friendly and honest.

As travellers on a very tight budget we are always looking for ways to save money and extend our time travelling on limited funds. We stumbled across the website https://www.workaway.info/ by accident whilst in France in May 2013 during the second phase of our trip. The philosophy of Workaway is described as “a few hours honest help per day in exchange for food and accommodation and an opportunity to learn about the local lifestyle and community, with friendly hosts in varying situations and surroundings”. By joining the website community for a minimal annual fee ($38 for a couple, for a year) you have access to over 25,000 hosts in 155 countries worldwide. You can search within specific locations and narrow the kind of ‘work’ you would like to participate in through categories such as farming, gardening, eco projects, helping with tourists and art. You have your own profile with a description of your interests and skills, plus some photographs, and every host has a page where they describe what’s expected and some information and photos about themselves. The added bonus is that feedback can be left by ‘workawayers’ who stay with a host, and vice-versa about you as a volunteer, so the system is self-monitoring. 

Throughout our 854 days on the road we have participated in 7 Workaway placements, all quite varied but all enjoyable experiences. In Spain Andy did some graphic design work while I helped out at a hostel, in Croatia we helped a couple realising their permaculture lifestyle dream and in Hungary demolished walls and painted hundreds of beams to restore an old mansion. In Greece we cleared land, fixed chicken fences and built a vegetable garden and in Armenia helped establish an eco-project and walking trail network. Two weeks in Montenegro was spent photographing the local beaches off-season for a hostel owner and in India we made environmental education videos and helped a local guy develop his sustainability project.

The advantage of a Workaway placement, which for us was generally from 10 days to a month, is that you get to pause in a place which after weeks and months on the road, constantly moving, is a welcome change. You get the opportunity to become part of a community rather than just passing through places and gain a real insight into what life is like for local people in the country that you are visiting. You can ask all those questions that have been mystifying you about a place to actual local people and enjoy traditional food, culture and hospitality in a welcoming home. By timing our Workaway in Mumbai with the time period we were waiting for our car shipment to arrive, we saved on accommodation and food costs for almost a month. 

​Through Workaway we have collected and pickled mushrooms in Croatia, wine-tasted in Hungary, milked goats in Greece and been invited to local festivals. We joined Bollywood dance classes in Mumbai, skipped with orphans at an orphanage in India and celebrated Easter at an ancient Armenian Monastery. 

It is essential to be flexible with Workaway, most hosts are quite laid-back and sometimes there are issues with communication through the website- have a few back-ups… people not replying is not uncommon! Be clear about what the work arrangement is; 4-5 hours a day with 2 days off is the general rule and be happy about the accommodation offered which can range from a luxurious cabin to a patch of grass where you pitch your own tent. Generally, good communication from day one when you first contact a potential host, right the way through your placement, makes for a much more positive and happier experience for everyone.

​In summary, despite not earning any money while on a Workaway, the fact that you are not spending any is equally as valuable when trying to maintain a long-term trip. In the future we plan to build our own sustainable home and have learnt many new skills through our placements which will help enormously when that time comes. We have made life-long friends with our hosts and some of our best memories of a country have come the through Workaway experiences.

Small, steaming stalls surround a central area of Formica tables and plastic chairs, quickly filling up as evening approaches with groups of friends and families. Buckets of ice with bottles of beer are ordered and brought to the tables from the drinks stalls by waitresses, then dishes are selected and paid for from your vendor of choice and your table number given. Simple, no-fuss, fast, delicious, sociable and great value… welcome to hawker food eating in Malaysia.
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Hawker centres in Malaysia are essentially permanent collections of street-food stalls, normally in an open-air complex, with communal tables. A wonderful diversity of nationalities, culture and religions in Malaysia has resulted in a fusion cuisine which boasts some of the world’s best street food.

Extensive menus seem to defy the limited space and basic set-up of each makeshift food outlet, staff whirl round in a cramped space; barbequing meat, draining steaming noodles, tossing unidentified morsels in sizzling woks and stirring huge vats of bubbling soup.  Bowls of raw ingredients are lined up and meticulously displayed on the stall fronts; cubed tofu, black mushrooms, sliced raw vegetables, squid rings, dumplings, prawns, shellfish, gelatinous noodles and chopped crab sticks.

Our big, empty table at the CF night food court in George Town, Penang Island, was soon filled with a laughing group of local friends, who quickly included us in their beer-top-ups as bottles of cold Tiger flowed continuously. Chatting to them, they said they came to the food court every week, preferring the laid-back atmosphere and bustle to more formal restaurants. The beers washed down plates of Char Kuey Teow; greasy, thin stir-fried noodles topped with egg, prawns, spring onions and beansprouts and wrestled with chopsticks. Three young cabaret singers belted out pop covers from a round, glittery central stage, pausing every time the electricity cut out then starting each tinny, rhythmical ballad from the start once the power surged back.

On another evening in George Town at the Red Garden night food court we tried Penang’s signature dish of Assam Laksa, a pleasantly pungent, fish-based soup with sour Tamarind and noodles, chilli, cucumber, lemongrass and prawn paste. 

For breakfast, find a small space on a street bench for Roti Canai, delicious fresh, puffed flatbread served with a dish of spicy lentil Dhal and a mug of sweet, milky chai.

In the Bukit Bintang area of Kuala Lumpur the street of Jalan Alor heaves on both sides with bustling restaurants, stalls and pop-up eateries. Crowds of locals and tourists perch on plastic stools around pavement tables. Sticky jack fruit is sliced into finger-licking pieces, tiny stalls crammed with piles of Kuih Kosui banana-leaf wrapped sweet coconut dough parcels and no-nonsense menus of dim sum and fried fishcakes line the walkways.

​From our shared table at Wong Ah Wah eatery we people-watched and picked at Batu Maung Satay, a selection of different grilled meats on thin bamboo sticks dripping with a rich, thick peanut sauce. Not just a means of satisfying your hunger, Hawker centres are an entire experience of food and friends as you rub shoulders with fellow diners and enjoy a whole menu of weird and wonderful new snacks and dishes. 

​The capital city of the Malaysian state of Penang, George Town, is a hectic mix of distinct historic cultures, urban cool and some of the best food we’ve had during our entire trip.  
 
The city’s history is rich; established in 1786 by the British East India Company, George Town was one of the first British colonies in South-East Asia. During it’s British heyday the port town served as a trading post, with various ethnicities and religions arriving on its shores and passing through. During World War II the town was conquered by the Japanese empire, at the end of the war the Japanese surrendered and the British took control again.

​It’s this diverse mix of influences, the coalescence of local, British, Chinese, Indian and Islamic elements that has shaped George Town’s large variety of eclectic architectural styles. It’s this mish-mash of Buddhist temples, mosques, churches and all manner of buildings in between that led to it being awarded UNESCO World Heritage Site status.

​Nowadays George Town is considered a city; wandering around the narrow streets of the old town it is easy to forget that fact. ‘Little India’ and ‘China Town’ are authentic as it gets, the sights, sounds and smells of Little India transported us straight back. Like India, the British influence is apparent and the cities charm lies in its backdrop of colonial architecture. The architecture is easily on a par with the likes of Mumbai, although it lacks some of the grandeur. 

​Alongside the traditional architecture are stunning Art Deco buildings from the 30’s and 40’s and modernist buildings from the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. Then comes the post-modernist architecture from the 90’s and 2000’s; these later additions add something for any architecture enthusiast and augment a surprising amount of charisma.

​The city is cultured. Cool coffee shops, art galleries, public sculptures and design houses are nestled amongst the quaint streets, they’ve even got a container hotel!  The cities burgeoning street art scene is also drawing a lot of attention from tourists.

​Reputed as the gastronomic capital of Malaysia thanks to the ubiquitous street food, George Town is heaven for foodies - but we’ll save that for another blog.
 
George Town really is quite unique; it’s colourful history and compactness means you can soak up the multicultural essence of the area with ease. One of our favourite stops in South East Asia. 

​Thailand has a love affair with the pick-up truck, literally everyone in Thailand drives a 4x4 pick-up. Sales of the Mitsubishi Triton, which is made in Thailand, practically saved the Japanese company from going out of business after a partnership deal with Germany's Daimler fell through. In 2007 they’d exported over a million Mitsubishi trucks to other Asian countries.
 
Mitsubishi’s are not the only popular model, all the Japanese manufacturers are represented, which is great for us being a Toyota owner as spare parts are easy to find.
 
What is noticeably different about Thailand in comparison to the rest of South-East Asia is that they like to modify their vehicles. Some are jacked up to ridiculous heights whilst others are slammed to the floor. One thing that Thai garages do well is suspension!

​We spotted some incredibly well prepped off-road vehicles as well as some serious street racers. Like the Paykan pick-up in Iran most customised vehicles are still practical. In fact many of the suspension mods on the slammed vehicles are designed to handle extra weight, the upgraded suspension in combination with steel rear wheels and uprated tyres dictate the style of many vehicles.
 
Most towns and cities operate a private minibus system utilising the flatbed of the pick-up trucks as a seating area. This informal taxi system is the lifeblood of most cities.

​Most of the minitrucks (the slammed ones) have custom soundsystems too that you’ll hear bumping from miles away. 

​Customization isn’t just limited to 4 wheels though; anyone who doesn’t own a 4x4 owns a scooter.
 
There are three models of scooter that are abundant throughout South-East Asia. The 125cc Honda Sonic, manufactured in Thailand and the similar Yamaha Mio and the Yamaha Nouvo. All three bikes are cheap, mechanically simple, relatively pokey and most motorcycle shops sell a whole host of accessories allowing for complete customization. 

Scooters are frequently fitted with race handlebars, painted up in neon colours and covered in race inspired stickers. The mods are not just cosmetic, typically thinner wheels and tyres are fitted along with a big boar exhaust system, upgraded fuel delivery systems and brake upgrades.

​Arriving into Thailand after a full-on, hectic four and a half months in India followed by a strict two week Myanmar guided tour we spent our first night camped in Taksin Maharat National Park near the Northwest border. The immediate quiet and organisation of the place was a shock to the system! Off season, the camp site was empty so we had an entire site for us and our French family friends in their motorhome who we’d travelled across Myanmar with. A basic yet sufficient wash block meant we had clean water, shower and toilet facilities and a huge open, flat space to clean, hand-wash, re-order (and relax) after our Indian odyssey. 

​There are 127 National Parks in Thailand, varying from quiet, low-key areas with basic camping facilities to tourist-tastic parks complete with Hornbill keyrings and Deer tame enough to take a selfie with. They are excellent places to plan your route around as the facilities are perfect for overlanders and the cost minimal- with incredible jungle, mountains and coastline they are perfect places for relaxing in nature and spotting (surprisingly easily) many of the hundreds of species of animal, birds, reptiles and insects. 

​Mae Surin National Park offered an escape from the steep tarmac roads, as beautiful, sedate sand tracks weave along the edges of unspoiled forest. Wild camping was easy with viewpoints and picnic spots overlooking an undulating, tree-covered horizon. 

​Our next stop was Khao Yai National Park, in the East of Thailand, where we stayed 3 nights at Lumtakong Campsite where the less-than-shy resident Sambar Deer outnumbered campers several to one. Drinking tea with the beating of Hornbills wings flying overhead and jumping as a huge water monitor lizard strides past you, slipping into the nearby river and gliding across.

Dawn hikes through swaying, orange sunlit grassland with wild elephants crashing through the undergrowth nearby and gibbons howling and acrobatically swinging through the jungle canopy above. This is the gem of Thailands Parks, with a modern visitor’s centre and over 50km of marked, extensive, beautiful hiking trails. ​

Southwest of Bangkok, we visited Kaeng Krachan National Park, staying in Ban Krang campsite where salt licks attract huge aggregations of colourful butterflies (over 300 species!) at the camps entrance. A stream flows through, with Malabar squirrels hanging from tree branches above and stump-tailed Macaques chattering in the tree tops. 

​Smaller, low-key reserves dot the Thai coastline, our first experience of this was at Hat Wanakon on the East coast. With our hammock slung between two beachside pine trees we watched a stunning sunset over the water as fishing boats bobbed past. In the morning we wandered through pine groves, large vivid lizards diving for their burrows, on our way to the outdoor showers.

​Crossing the narrow band of Southern Thailand to the West coast we camped at Laem Son National Park, fringing an idyllic stretch of beach with forested outcrops. Khao Lampi Hat Thai National Park further south boasted a completely empty campsite, beautiful solitude right on the beach- coastal wilderness with the luxury of toilets and showers in a scenic pine forest. Karst limestone islands loom from the waves in Krabi province, creating a surreal landscape around Hat Chao Mai National Park. Along this deserted stretch of beach on the Andaman coastline we saw no one but the odd curious cockle collector and were able to swim and sunbathe in peace with the tide lapping all the way to our table and chairs.

Timing is key when visiting Thailand’s National Parks; they are far more enjoyable when quiet so try and visit off-season if possible and during the week. The bigger parks have a reasonably budget-denting entrance fee (eg- Khao Yai is £8/$10 each) but this covers your entire stay, no matter if you visit for an afternoon or four days. We chose fewer parks but stayed longer to make visits more economical and give ourselves enough time to relax and hike the surrounding area. Camping is extra but only around 60p each a night and the facilities are basic but generally well-maintained. In contrast the smaller coastal parks charge only £2/$3 entrance so you can afford to stay in several for single nights. The security of patrolling rangers on campsites means you can stay ‘set-up’ and wander off into the wilds and sleep better without that ‘on-guard’ feeling when wild camping. Of all the countries we have travelled in, Thailand’s National Parks are by far the best, managing to maintain that wonderful wilderness feel while providing fantastic, affordable facilities across the entire country. It’s a great way of seeing wildlife while contributing directly to its protection. 

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine
“Not all those who wander are lost.” – J. R. R. Tolkien
“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” – Lao Tzu
 
The internet is full of inspiring travel quotes floating wistfully over awe-inspiring landscapes. The general gist being that  - travel broadens your mind. Thankfully I haven’t taken to wearing Thai fishing pants and eating with my hands, I have however garnered a whole host of insight that might fill you with wanderlust (or not)!
 
In this blog I’ll be attempting to add my wisdom to the pantheon of travel writers by summarizing 10 things I’ve learnt as a global overlander!
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​Before we embarked on our adventure I can’t say I was very au fait with the pungent smell of death. I have however, since travelling, become very familiar with the unpleasant odour of rotting animal corpses. Typically, circling raptors give us enough advance warning to wind up the windows before the rancid smell violates our nostrils.
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​Iran, Turkey, Eastern Europe and the whole of Central Asia like to fly flags. Countries full of nationalism and pride, countries with some of the friendliest people we’ve encountered and countries with fairly dubious governments.
 
Generally, the number of flags a country likes to fly is tantamount to how untrustworthy the government is. The more flags you see, the more you should be scared.
 
Nothing instils nationalism and patriotism in a country than hoisting a giant flag, preferably bigger than your neighbouring country’s largest flag. For a short time Tajikistan, Central Asia’s poorest country, held the world record with their 165 metre tall pole costing a whopping $3.5 million.  Incidentally, over 200+ stolen luxury cars from Germany managed to find their way to the president of Tajikistan’s inner circle and associates of his family.
 
In Southern India the prominence of the Hammer and Sickle is a little unnerving at first.
For Westerners, the image is synonymous with the Cold War era Soviet Union and filled with negative connotations. To see this distinctive red and white flag flying so prominently is an indication that the people of southern India may have slightly opposing political values to our own.
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Most people go on a spiritual journey whilst in India. Certainly in Rishikesh and Haridwar we witnessed hundreds of Westerners “finding themselves”. After having spent more than 4 months in India I became “enlightened” only to discover I’d turned into an intolerant, short tempered, unreceptive and quite frankly horrible person.
 
My hard earned open-minded outlook was tested to the limit by people who think it is ok to spit in my general direction, open my car doors and get inside, push and shove and, worst of all, invade my personal space at every opportunity. Then there’s the rules and bureaucracy… and the Indian customs department and the filth and rubbish and… AND THE DRIVING!
 
Somehow I managed to maintain my polite English demeanour by not exploding into a tirade of abuse, but honestly, I’m not sure how! All the negativity slowly ground me down until the point I actually started to resent India and the monster it turned me into. Thankfully the duality of the situation meant we met hundreds of amazing, friendly and openhearted people who, on a daily basis, helped maintain a certain level of sanity. 
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​Forget everything you’ve ever learnt about estimating travel times. On one occasion in Greece it took us 2 days to drive 10 miles. In North Eastern India, what should have been a 3-hour drive took 15 hours. Expect potholes, corrugations, mud, landslides, collapsed bridges and surfaces so ungraded that you question whether it is actually a road and if your really expensive tyres are up to the job!
 
What can look like a motorway on a map can often be the worst road in the country. Kazakhstan is a massive country and most of the roads are in terrible condition, if you need to drive all the way across it, make sure you have enough time on your visa! In Armenia some of the potholes are so large you can see them on Google Earth.
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​The world is full of stupid people, myself included, from the poorest of the poor to the top ranks of the Indian caste system and from religious and political leaders to the average man on the street stupidity is demonstrated daily around the world. Stupidity out of necessity is endemic in poorer countries, if you have a family of five and a motorbike is your only form of transport you’re going to use it. Some might argue that you express a great deal of intelligence to solve the problem of fitting 5 people on a motorbike, but that is debatable.
 
In Armenia we were overtaken by a speedy Lada on an icy mountain road, 40 minutes later we caught up with the driver who’d lost control and skidded off the road. His car was on its roof about 10 metres down an embankment and was being pulled back onto the road by a tractor. Another 30 minutes passed and the same car overtook us again still travelling at 40+ mph, only now his roof was all battered.
 
We were also overtaken by a 6-year old driving through fast heavy traffic on the ring road around Almaty, Kazakhstan, whilst his father relaxed eating a sandwich. We managed to snap a photograph when we pulled up alongside them at the traffic lights.
 
At the other end of the spectrum, the Chinese are exploiting anyone and everyone in every country we visited. The respective governments are letting it happen at the expense of the environment and the people who inhabit it. The majority of the countries we visited have been ravaged by major wars, that have all happened during my lifetime. It’s tough to distinguish who is stupider; the uneducated or the “educated”; at every level greed generally outweighs common sense and, quite often, human life… Who am I to judge? I managed to loose my spare wheel and get stuck in the middle of an open field.
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This entry should be #2 really - thankfully it's only got one photograph! When overlanding you certainly become more aware of your bodily functions. Due to diet change, dehydration and food poisoning I am amazed on a daily basis at what my body produces, especially in the length department.
 
Having previously read that monitoring your bowel movements on expedition was a key indicator to your health I decided to keep a “Captain’s Log”. The ‘log’ featured the date, a descriptive title, GPooS coordinates and a record of ‘firmness’ using the Bristol Stole Scale. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about here are a few entries from the Captain’s Log…
 
03/07/2012 - The Vulgar Volga Turf-out - 54° 46' 22.5912'' N48° 47' 59.6256'' E – BSS 5
30/07/2012 - The Secret Forest Foot-long - 53° 54' 26.694'' N109° 17' 23.1396'' E – BSS 4
08/04/2014 - The Sahara Sludge Pile - 29° 47' 12.6024'' N6° 3' 59.4468'' W – BSS 6
 
Having read that the largest fossilised human poo was 9 inches long my important ‘work’ may help archaeologists of the future locate specimens, which will clearly top this.
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​I don’t mean a promiscuous overlanding lifestyle; getting in touch with your circadian rhythms really does make a world of difference to how great you feel. We go to bed when it goes dark and get up with the sun (well Emma does). This is occasionally problematic; in Norway it never went dark and in Georgia it was dark by 4pm. It is not unusual for us to sleep 10 hours a night – we’ve never had so much sleep. One of the benefits to all this is that not only do you get to watch sunsets you see way more sunrises too.
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​Expect to be woken up by an Indian TV crew opening your tent.
Expect to be on TV in Iran.
Expect to be chased by sheep.
Expect the road to not exist anymore.
Expect rocks bigger than your car to fall out the sky.
Expect to see LOTS of guns.
Expect to wake up covered in snow.
Expect the bridge to have collapsed.
Expect to see a Kyrgyz nomad carrying a severed horse leg on the back of his horse.
Expect to see a holy man rolling down a motorway.
Expect an Iranian truck driver to just give you 40L of fuel… For FREE.
Expect to see a bus on its side.
Expect your front wheel to collapse.
Expect to see a truck half hanging over a cliff edge.
Expect a monkey to piss on your face.
Expect a 150cm Monitor Lizard to stroll through your camp.
Expect a wild deer to come and say hello in the evening.
Expect your ice-cream to be MASSIVE….
 
And these are just a few things we managed to photograph… We never managed to photograph the giant Cobra that passed through our camp a little to close for comfort, the Huntsman spider in our car or the numerous earthquakes we experienced.
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We sold nearly all our possession to fund our trip; it was a liberating experience. Living with few belongings shifts the focus of what is important. Materiality falls aside as basic survival comes to the forefront: finding water, food and fuel, keeping clean and dry and vehicle maintenance. Living this way helps ground you and brings a little perspective to life.

No text needed for this one... Pictures speak louder than words.